Stopping Negative Teacher Self-Talk
I Am My Mindset. I Listen to My Own Narrative.
As a teacher, it is easy to find yourself in a state of being pretty negative at school. Not necessarily with the students, but with other teachers and staff in the building. The cycle of negative talk-particularly negative teacher self-talk- is one that can consume school buildings in various spots, in entire hallways or sections, and in entire buildings. It manifests into people not wanting to come to work. Think about it like the culture and climate of your brain. The thoughts that we are thinking when we wake up, the ideas that cross our minds throughout the day while we are making millions of decisions, and the contemplations that we feel driving home are all indicators of who we are as people and where we are at in terms of self-care and belief about our work. Simply, we are our thoughts. This post is all about the connection our thoughts have to our actions and bodies. If we can talk about negative teacher self-talk in a way that helps combat fatigue and negativity in the workplace, we have a shot at changing our point of view.
First, recognize the signs of negative teacher self-talk in yourself and in others:
Significantly reduced patience with classroom management (Quick to snap)
Increased levels of stress and anxiety
Taking work home to your significant other or family in a counter-productive way or bottling up completely about the issues at work to appear like you are fine
Lack of creativity or energy in lesson planning or delivery
Not wanting to get up to go to work for repeated days in a row
All of these signs are fine from time-to-time, but when they become our daily existence, we have to stop the cycle of negative teacher self-talk in its tracks before it can become harmful to our well-being. Thoughts, feelings, and actions are all a part of how we talk to ourselves. We need to evaluate every time a negative thought comes across our mind some possibilities:
Why am I thinking this way?
How does it make me feel?
Does this thought influence my actions?
While the strategies in this post are not perfect or end-all, be-all solutions, they are some ways that have helped in dealing with my own negative self-talk about work and the teaching profession as a whole. I never claim to be an expert on dealing with anxiety or stress, but I am a teacher who often thinks about how hard the job is and feel weighed down by the never-ending to-do list of teaching. While many discuss the role of toxic teacher positivity in our profession, I will always maintain that we can simultaneously acknowledge the reality of at a teaching situation and work to make the mental narrative or script we tell ourselves each day more positive.
Brain Dump/Journal
The first strategy to change a line of thinking is to journal and get everything out on the page. It can be a pretty vulnerable exercise, but it matters. I found myself being just funky and negative about everything for many days at a time. Everything was bothering me at work. I loved everything at home, but work happiness is essential because it is where we spent a significant amount of time in our lives. Who has time to be unhappy for 40 hours a week? As teachers, that work actually looks more like 50-60 hours a week. I don’t have one second to be unhappy for that many hours if I associate negative teacher self-talk with the work I am doing. So, I made a list of all of the things that I worried about or felt like I couldn’t control. At the end of it, I had 10 things that were very honest. Some of them were small insecurities while others were indicators of bigger issues like constantly feeling tired. I categorized my brain dump by self-care categories and was surprised to see many of my daily concerns were in 1-2 categories, not spread out.
Some people use other categories, the categories that I see that fit within my life are:
Physical (Yoga, sleep, mindful eating, etc)
Mental/Emotional (Journaling, drawing, etc)
Spiritual (Reading, meditating, breathing, etc)
Intellectual (Blogging, writing, finance work, etc)
Sensory (Skincare, music, etc)
Social (Work done by 8 pm, say “no” more, etc)
My two categories of focus after my brain dump were Physical and Intellectual areas. I now know how to move forward because I have coping mechanisms for each category. Another way to view this exercise is to make a list of all of the things that you want in life-big or small-and then get clarity on what exactly are your goals. With the move to online learning, many of my goals felt impossible or out of reach. However, I wanted to acknowledge the goals I still had in reach ad work toward those objectives. I needed clarity.
Letting Go
I also had things on that list that I couldn’t control or solve right away. I love the book Choose Wonder Over Worry: Move Beyond Fear and Doubt to Unlock Your Full Potential by Amber Rae. She provides an answer to the question: “How do we let go of things we can’t control?” This is a great question because have you ever told a person that is worrying about something or freaking out about an issue to “just get over it” or “just let it go.” Panic ensues. Amber Rae offers many little drawings and infographics, but her big message is to wonder about a topic over worrying. I did her If/Then exercise in the book. Here are some great if/then statements to ponder about teaching in general. What would your answers be?
If I stay teaching, then…
If I don’t take work home, then…
If I can’t do it all, then I can do…
I love this sentence frame because it provides options. I have an option to see things in a positive or a negative way. For example, 1.) If I stay teaching, then I will continue to feel the stress of the job or 2.) If I stay teaching, I can continue to work on my writing on the blog.
Collaborate with a Small Group
When in the midst of a negative self-talk session, it is best to treat yourself as you would a friend. I have a hard time with this because my personality does not lend itself to really “pretend” to do anything. So, I talk with other teachers in a small group. The emphasis here is on a small group because negative teacher-talk LOVES other people who are feeling negative. It is easy in a school building to get sucked into everyone hates their job or feels like they can’t control anything, so most people feel negative. I find it is easier to talk to others who understand the daily life of teaching in small groups or even one-to-one. In this manner, it feels like a problem is getting sorted out, not like a session where everything is there to release or vent. Those venting sessions matter as well, but they can become exhausting if they are happening each day. I often have to remind myself to bring a positive thought or something to share before I sit down with my team. If I start with something positive that feeling will catch on to others.
Fight Mental Fatigue
BREAK THOUGHT PATTERNS
Do something to break negative thought patterns at school. I find myself on plan making a giant to-do list and feeling like I can’t get out of a hole at work. This is also if I even get a plan in the first place. While time at school is precious for those of us trying to manage the paper load, I also know that this time is controlled by tasks. When I find myself in a negative thought cycle at school, I force myself to take a break. The copies will get made at some time. The board will get setup when it can. My introduction slides don’t have to be perfect to have a great lesson. Just me being in my classroom and loving what I do is enough on most days-not some. In these moments of frustration, I make a cup of coffee and breathe. I also find time to talk with my colleagues about good moments from the morning or the previous day. I like to do something where I physically stop my body to help stop the negative teacher self-talk pattern before it gets out of control.
FOCUS ON STRENGTHS
We are all strong in a variety of ways. I often have to remind myself that I can’t solve all problems, and I can’t say yes to all opportunities that come across my table. I can focus on my strengths in the classroom as a teacher, and I can jot down what I think I am doing well. It is easy to get into the mindset as a teacher that we aren’t good at anything. However, it is impossible for any teacher to master all aspects of education. While there are master teachers, there are no teachers who are masters at everything. Being able to shout from the rooftops our strengths, and accept we have things to work on is a sign of an innovative educator. The teaching of writing was the first thing I felt good about in my classroom as a newer teacher; hence why the blog is called Writing Mindset. However, I have held on to this feeling of accomplishment throughout the rest of the years of teaching.
POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS/GRATITUDE JOURNAL
In February, I started keeping a gratitude log and it has significantly changed my mood in the morning when I journal. I always find something positive from the day before to write down, and then this feeling propels me into the day. It might be something that happened at school. Often, it is something that happened at home or on the weekend. I don’t judge where moments of gratitude come from because these moments are making up the entirety of my life. There is power in writing down the good stuff. I had a moment last week where I had a terrible day. I sat and stared at the number for that day on my gratitude log. After a few minutes, I finally came to something I could write down. I said this in my Michigan Council of Teachers of English acceptance speech, “Even on a bad day, there is hope.”
Physical Wellness
I love the quote “your body hears everything your mind says.” Our bodies are listening. If one thing is true, I believe in the power of stress and how it manifests in your body in adverse ways. The American Psychological Association breaks down how stress can hurt our body, but often, stress starts in the mind. The mind is in charge of negative teacher-talk impacts how we feel both physically and emotionally. I find that sleep is the first thing to suffer physically. I wake up at 3 am with an idea for a lesson or a to-do list that seems a mile long. My colleagues who have left the profession of teaching will often comment that this is one of the things that they would never miss. They sleep like babies. However, I am curious about how many would have stayed if we all learned more coping strategies for this thought pattern. I recently posted about “Using Physical Wellness Strategies to Battle Teacher Burnout.” This post outlines how I am trying to tackle working out on a more consistent basis to help with my teacher burnout feelings. This is one strategy to try to promote physical wellness, but the main strategy is to sleep.
To focus on sleep, I keep a journal to brain dump ideas as they come by my side of the bed. I try to work out to improve that sleep process as well. I also try to cut off thinking about school by 8 or 9 pm. If you are having a hard time committing to working out because, like me, you are already doing so much, try to commit to first get better sleep. Then move to mindful eating, and then move to try to get workout consistently. A teacher friend told me that I should, “add on one good habit at a time.” She was right. As teachers, we want to make the whole move at one time because it would be more efficient. However, we have to get used to small successes to build larger wins.
Change Your Mindset About Challenges
One of the reasons I love teaching is because I am a problem-solver. One of the many reasons I can get into a funk about teaching is because I want to solve all of the problems, and also work at inspiring change in some areas. Fighting the good fight is draining. Choose one challenge at school to try to work at each marking period or semester. Perhaps it is trying to establish a positive connection with one student who has not budged since September or maybe it is trying to make a lesson or unit more fun and engaging using technology or collaboration. Poll your students to see what they want, and then give them what they want. It is sometimes that simple: We are fighting battles we don’t need to fight because we haven’t been open to other avenues of solutions. Be open about challenges because there is no short supply of things wrong with the world of teaching. There is something that is right in our purpose to help students learn.
